As much as most of us would love to see our lives change and grow for the better, it seems as though we just keep repeating and retreating to the same old behaviors that aren’t loving to us or anyone around us.
Behaviors that only create guilt, shame, blame, and unworthiness for which in turn; we make excuses, and set judgement on others to sooth our own pitifully unsatisfied soul.
Then after listening and/or reading a couple a dozen self-help books we desperately want to share our newfound knowledge with our husbands/wives, friends, and relatives on how they can become a better person.
As if you’re telling them that they’re living a screwed up life to begin with. Most will run from you or get pissed off.
This is when you quickly find out that others may not want to be nor need to be changed. So, because we can’t change those around us, we revert back to the comfortable but painful behavior’s that are continually causing us such distress to begin with – the whole time expecting things around us to change.
This makes us absolutely CRAZY and Confused therefore; we’ve actually done nothing to change our mind or better ourselves, because a confused mind does nothing.
In reality we’ve become less productive and more judgemental in order to justify why we’re simply trying to become a better person ourselves.
Afterall, all we want to do is save those around us who couldn’t give a crap about improving themselves – remember, we teach people how to treat us – so this is all new information to them. Insane but true!
Sadly enough, we stay stuck in marriages, friendships, and blood relationships that aren’t loving and caring to our well-being. We continue either fighting with them or just backing down and taking what parcels of love they toss us.
We then feel sorry for ourselves because we needed more from them but we’re afraid or don’t know how to ask. Remember, those who love us for the most part, aren’t mind readers.
Through all of this we then turn to the one’s we live with and do the same…
We yell at our kid’s and blame their friends for why they are misbehaving – while smiling at people we work with in exhaustion, secretly wishing that they would leave us the hell alone.
Finding fault in our job and creating disease in our body by constantly worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet or we have no control over.
Filling our bellies with comfort food that is killing us; while sitting in front of the TV watching the presidential nominee’s show our children by example how to be bullies.
Quite frankly, I prefer just getting away for a wild & crazy vacation to Dubai with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills… If you’re going to argue – why not do it in style! Awe!
What happen to our dreams – the dreams we had in our twenties & thirties? I’ll tell you what happened – we just couldn’t manage it all and in the confusion we did nothing.
I’m not implying that we haven’t accomplished anything; I’m simply saying that somewhere along the way we lost our enthusiasm to pursue our passion.
For years I dove deeply into hundreds of self-help books, attended countless seminars/webinars, hired licensed counselors (who had a litany of their own problems), started new businesses I really had no interest in, took drugs, drank way too much, you name it I probably tried it.
I had no compassion for anyone and was the most ungrateful person I knew.
Looking back I can’t believe the grief I must have caused others; my life was a recipe for disaster but instead God kept handing me miracles. It was too weird and confusing to believe.
The fact is, I was trying too hard to please others and make something of myself and in the process forgot my purpose. This kept me in a state of confusion that lead me nowhere. I felt like a total and utter failure.
Luckily a transformation instantly began (as Oprah would say, I had a lightbulb moment) one day while driving to work and listening to Eckhart Tolle on Oprah’s radio broadcast, I heard a lady ask Eckhart a question that hit home. She ask how a normal, everyday person with kids, bills to pay, a job to keep, a house to run, keeping a demanding husband happy, and all the little curveballs that life throws us on a daily basis – be practically interwoven into her everyday life?
I though, yeah, great question; how do we do this? Afterall, not all of us (hardly any of us) can sit and meditate for hours on end and stay in a conscious state of “Being” 90% of the time.
At the time I was in the same spot as her.. I had been reading and listening to all of the spiritual teachings that I felt could help me become more enlightened and magically change my circumstances.
I was making all of this too difficult thus creating confusion in my head and doing nothing OR even worse creating doubt that being a better person just wasn’t going to happen for me.
Tolle’s answer was simple: He said something like this; just do what you can, and don’t worry about the details, enjoy what you’re doing right Now in this moment; don’t worry about tomorrow it may never come.
What really caught my attention the most however, was Tolle saying that all you have to do is be Aware, every time something comes up, don’t fight against it – Accept what is…
All you have to do is be Aware and eventually, whatever you want to change will do so. This doesn’t mean laying down and allowing others to hurt you or mistreat you; it just means “BE AWARE”.
Sounds simple – I’m in! Although our meaningful parents had already implanted mind viruses in our heads along with teachers, family, and for me, Christianity but at this point excuses were cheap and nothing else was working. What in hell did I have to lose.
NO longer did I have to be a victim of the past – now I had found the antidote to cure this disease and become the person that I felt was really inside of me.
My inner being was screaming out to be
unharnessed in order to help release the magnificent
energy I had to share with the world but in a positive way!
AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS
BE AWARE – ACCEPT WHAT IS – LIVE IN THE NOW
So at first I started practicing just being Aware of behaviors such as my words, my body language, especially in my thoughts and interactions with people who weren’t loving to me or left me feeling bad afterwards.
Nevertheless, there were many times when I continued responding the same as in the past.
The only difference in the equation was that I was now aware of my reactions and actions and would say to myself, it’s okay… next time. No shame, blame, no excuses, or judging of myself or others – just awareness of the situation.
I still do this today; mind viruses are really hard to get rid of… but eventually they lessen.
Some of my friend and I grew apart – nothing personal but we were in different places – no words need be spoken.
I was still me and spoke my mind but bad habits started dropping without intention.
Things just started unfolding and all I was doing was – being AWARE.
It soon became blatantly apparent who actually
needed to change – it was
That didn’t mean the people around me were perfect – it simply meant that my behavior’s were effecting them as well.
However, when I stop resisting and made an effort to be aware of my actions – everyone in my home did too and without a word spoken… it was the energy that changed all of us.
The energy in our abode was a breath of fresh air – problems and all!
The confused fog had lifted and it was easier to stay focused but
there was still continual practice to be done
BELIEVE IN SOMETHING
BELIEVE IN YOU!
THIS IS WHY ALL OF THE SPIRITUAL GURU’S
ALWAYS TELL YOU TO
Namaste! Amen! Love!