Are you absolutely tired of hearing all the “Mumbo Jumbo” crap about, “The law of attraction”, “Let go and let God”, “Awareness”, “Breathe”, “Believe”, “Walk in nature”? Are you tired of seeing, “Those people” hiking, biking, doing yoga, sitting in silence for hours finding their inner being; speaking softly as though they haven’t a care in the world? Do you ever wonder how, or if they’re really lingering in that state of mind ALL the time?
If so, let’s keep it real!
What you truly want to do is smack’m up beside the head and ask, “Who the hell are you people and what planet do you come from?”
And no matter how hard you’ve tried to reach this level of tranquility and balance in your own life, it simply isn’t happening for you. So you keep chasing your tail but life just goes on and on and on – until one day you wake up and find that first gray hair has popped out of your scalp and the vertical crease in your forehead has become a deep crater forcing you to wear bangs.
If you feel your life is gradually slipping away from you, then maybe it is… but you’re not alone. If you’re afraid that your family and friends will laugh at you, and your partner will call you crazy for wanting a more peaceful feeling inside – then don’t. “Fuck them”, is what I to say to myself, in my head of course, not to their face. It gives me a sense of power, power to just move past the spoken and unspoken judgment I hear and feel that makes me feel like a failure.
I am and always will be (as you are too) a work in progress. Although, the number of times I must say, “Fuck them” (in my head of course) these days are fewer. I considered this a simple way of shedding the shame and unworthy feeling for which shouldn’t exist in the first place, but it does, for wanting to be a better person. Again, we’re all a work in progress – be easy on yourself.
As many of you are aware if you’ve read my story, you’ll know that I have overcome three very difficult addictions through, “Self awareness, the power of intention, believing and understanding my worthiness through the law of attraction” and I did it ALONE. Too much alcohol, pain med’s, and smoking were my self medicating preferences. All for which millions of people worldwide struggle with daily.
However, it made absolutely no difference in my life how many times I was psychoanalyzed or how many times, I “Tried” to stop; almost always, I was unsuccessful.
That is until I understood, no one knew me better than me therefore; it was up to me to find the solution and follow through…
Here is what I found to be the most fascinating part of my recover; there is NO recovery and there are NO rules – only AWARENESS.
All that “Mumbo Jumbo Shit” actually works, and permanently… it’s not a temporary fix, it is a “Life altering”, “Brain changing” experience. You can’t explain it nor should you apologize for loving yourself this much…you own it!
Remember, there will always be one more pile of something to fall into but once you’ve rearranged the neurons in your brain, you really don’t think in those old patterns as easily. But when you do, you’re more apt to quickly become aware of what isn’t loving to you and move towards that euphoric feeling of love for you.
The twist here is that I had been meditating without all the posing and positioning and chanting and breathing for sometime and didn’t even realize what I was doing. It was the little things like spending 30 minutes lying on the floor with my eyes closed, saying over and over again, “Clear, clear your mind” while listening to Bob Ross (on PBS) paint a picture of my life; the one I currently live in.
It was taking a couple of deep breaths while driving to work or imagining what my life would look like sober; it was yearning to learn more, read more, step outside the box and make a total fool of myself then get back up and do it again. It was knowing when I couldn’t take anymore and allowing myself to cry.
It was shutting out a cynical husband calling Wayne Dyer a “Bald-headed fuck face” during my transformation infancy towards spiritual growth. At first his hateful comments penetrated my sense of worthiness and belief, like insects swarming my flesh. He may have humiliated me in my effort but he never stopped me from moving forward. This is when I learned to say in my head, “Fuck him”, this is my journey.
Surprisingly enough, I quit retaliating to his quiet sarcastic jabs at my character without resentment and soon began to feel compassion towards his pathetic insecurity. This is when life started becoming easier and, “Fuck him, fuck them” became my internal dialog when faced with a naysayer.
For the longest I hid in my closet to meditate – feeling like kid who’d just figured out how exhilarating masturbation was – but somehow there was an element of shame associated.
I had to keep telling myself that this was my journey and I wanted and would design every single step of it my way… which meant rearranging the landscape and learning how to survive and understand every peak, valley, and field there was to explore through letting go and letting God blindly guide me through.
Is it as easy as, “Those people” make it appear to be?
But is it hard? NO, its not hard!
Be patient with yourself and it will come to you.
Don’t underestimate yourself; Step outside of your comfort zone; I think you’ll surprise yourself. Take baby steps at first and soon you will be making quantum leaps.
Don’t hold back when needed and remember that this, “Mumbo Jumbo Shit”, it does work. Realize that every now and then you’re gonna need to say (in your head of course), “Fuck him, Fuck her, Fuck them” with a smile on your face.
I truly do not have a potty mouth but OMG – Try it – it actually feels so good!
“You can’t get it wrong and you will never get it done.”
– Abraham Hicks
Peace & Love My Friend!
I love writing… but could sure use an editor; any volunteers?
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